Squishable Piggy

OINK! Oh wow, hello there Squishable Piggy. That is quite an aggressive greeting you have there. Ah! You've been trying to get my attention for 10 minutes now? You were going to share a cupcake but ate it out of frustration instead? You've decided I'm incredibly rude? You've trashed my noise-canceling headphones? And set my house on fire? And now you're dating my childhood crush? Point made, little pig, point made.